Glossary from the Sisters’ Handbook, circa 1983

(To preserve spacing and layout of the original document, this is presented in a Table. It might not display well in some devices.)

Antiphonal response
    In liturgy, the reply given by the faithful to a prayer offered by an officiating religious.
‘Bobby Sands’ incident
    Historically, a difficult and traumatic incident– ask a Living Rule for the details. Often recalled when rebelliousness or political incorrectness rears its ugly head.
    A meeting of the Order.
    1. Any nun’s dwelling,
    2. Frequently, Sister Atrociata von Tasteless‘ apartment,
    3. The Order.
Dead Nuns
    Nuns who have left the Order. This is a value-loaded term to be used with great discretion.
    A lengthy written communication to the secular world.
    Time at which the sun crosses equator and day & night are equal, about March 20th and September 22nd. Historically, these were pagan festivals which we Sisters have adopted as our own.
Fully-professed Sister
    A nun who has taken her vows (and paid her dues!).
    The art and science of challenging sex-role expectations.
Guerrilla Cornice
    A one-piece wimple and headband garment to which the veil is attached; so named because one Sister can don it without help in a hurry.
    (pronounced “gwimp“)
    1. A wimple,
    2. Any starched piece of headgear.
    Any holy garb resembling a habit.
    1. Nuns’ garb,
    2. see ‘standard issue habit‘.
Holy Record
    Record of Communions and Public Manifestations.
Holy Water
Keepers, The (three)
    Three rotating positions within the Order for the execution of Holy Duties.

This is from the 1980s Handbook

   Living Rule
    A fully-professed nun who characterizes Perpetual Indulgence.
    The Order of Perpetual Indulgence’s body of holy literature and ritual.
    An appearance of a religiously-habillemented Sister or Sisters in the secular world.
Mother Posterior
    1. (hist.) An archaic hierarchical position, first occupied by Sister Intelligentsia in order to get the Order garbed and rolling. The Second ‘MP’ was Sister Appassionata della Bawdy House who ruled the convent with such an iron fist that the position was abolished during a bloody convent coup. The position was replaced by The Three Keepers.
    2. (modern) A nun who assumes the responsibility of organizing a specific manifestation.
    A new Sister who has been inducted but who has not taken full vows.
Perpetual Indulgence
    A way of life, not a lifestyle. For a lengthy discourse, ask any Living Rule.
    1. Synonym for ‘novice‘;
    2. More correctly, a lay sister wishing entry into the novitiate.
Porcine Demons
    The cops.
    A theatrical or religious activity which focuses attention in matters of the spirit.
    The longest (21 June approx) or the shortest (20th December) day of the year. Pagan festivals adopted by the Order.
Standard Issue Habit
    The black robe, black or white veil, white bib and original guerrilla cornice issued by the convent.
Stigmatic Guilt
    Any guilt aroused by any perpetually indulgent thought, word or deed.
    The ideology of the Order.
    $5.00/month. Cough up!
Triad, the
    Sisters Appassionata, Intelligentsia and Opiate of the Masses. Ask any Living Rule for the dirt.
Universal Joy
    Principal product of the detonation of Stigmatic Guilt.
    The white cotton material which surrounds and conceals a nun’s neck and ears.

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